Why Studying Child Development Is Essential To Your Parenting Confidence and Goals
You may not know this about me (or maybe it’s crystal clear by now), but I’m a nerd. I love seeking information, understanding how things work, reading, learning, exploring.
One of my favorite things to study is human development. I’ve been at it formally for over 20 years, and arguably, informally for my whole life.
And as a parent, it has been one of the greatest assets in supporting my confidence and joy in parenthood.
But you don’t have to invest your professional life in studying child development in order to be a good parent. Or be a nerd. Establishing a basic understanding of the developmental process, and broadening your knowledge as your kiddo moves through each stage of their development goes a really long way to the experience and outcomes you crave for yourself and them.
Studying child development in parenthood can help to:
→ Set realistic expectations of your child that are factually aligned with their abilities and needs
→ Provide the most meaningful interventions in support of your child’s needs
→ Support acceptance, empathy and compassion
→ Build your confidence
→ Regulate your emotions
Do you wonder why your child does the things they do? Constantly worry that there is something wrong with them? Feel like they aren’t doing what other babies and kids are doing? Think that you don’t know how to meet their needs?
Knowing more about the science of child development can help!
One of the challenges is where to start. There are SO many options out there in terms of books, professionals, perspectives and of course, Dr. Google. It can feel confusing and overwhelming. Not to mention that what’s “normal” can vary so much and these resources rarely capture the full range of behaviors and tendencies.
I recommend starting within. Identify your values and goals for parenthood, and identify what comes up within you when you hear or see different parenting approaches or perspectives. These will be your inner compass, your north star, to help you sort through what’s out there and filter out the noise.
Speaking of noise, please be wary of learning about child development via social media, influencers, and ChatGPT. Snippets of information, sound bites, copy and pasted info, and posts produced for the masses are not comprehensive, fact checked sources. Even when verified sources may provide snippets of information or perspectives that can validly inform a piece of the puzzle, they are not the full picture and cannot replace the full scope of data and theory parents need to fully understand the role of child development in their child’s behaviors and how to apply it to support your parenting goals.
Of course, as a student of science, I also recommend information that is rooted in science. The science of the brain and body. The science of attachment. The science of human behavior.
It can also help to find like-minded people but also, stay open-minded. It may seem contradictory, but learning is always best supported by a container where we feel understood and safe but are challenged at the same time. Connect with other parents who want to talk about the theory and science of child development. Hear from them how these themes are expressed in their children. Normalize developmental tasks, behaviors, body changes, social challenges. Share resources and perspectives.
And finally, don’t discount the value of a professional. Part of my work as a coach is to provide parents with the information they need to understand their child, and to help them develop the tools to know how to effectively use it in real time.
Sometimes learning through conversation, in a dynamic dialogue, and through a personalized lens, under the guidance of a professional, is way more impactful (and fun!) than sifting through a book. A professional can hear your experience of your child, put it into a developmental context, use facts and data to make sense of what you're seeing and offer reflections that can help you shape a plan for how to respond. When you can internalize the bigger picture and normalize your child’s behavior, you can release the nagging uncertainty that “something is wrong” and build confidence in your child and your parenting.
It is my observation that parents who spend some time learning the foundations of their child’s development actually spend less time thinking about and managing their child’s development.
Because when you understand at a deeper level, you can hold confidence in your child and your parenting. And reinvest that energy back into being present and living in your parenthood.
Until next time,
Allie